Living in the past

Time, the one who holds destiny and all the events that happens in our lives. The one that connects the past, future, and present. The past, something which already happened. What if the past is haunting your because of something you didn't finish? Are you willing to give up the present to live in the past? Many people say, that we cannot take hold of time. It's true, but can you correct the things you've done wrong in the past. Without holding on to the timepiece of life?
Have you ever experienced doing something wrong without thinking of its consequences, and having regrets in the present? Have you experienced loving someone and looses the game of love in the end? When in the present it seems that you are still in the past with all the memories it gave you? Is the present enough to fulfill your emptied heart and erased memories because of the past?

As they always say; “how the past hurts!” especially if the memories it gave you are full of pains. Do you imagine yourself always thinking of the past memories? When it seems that you want to turn back time? When everything in the present seems to be wrong just because of the wrong actions you've done in the past. But life doesn't need to be like this, there must be something that could end up all those bad memories, but we don't know what that was.

Everything that happens, every door that closes, and every door thatn opens is found on the book of time. But before these things happened thse are already destined, or as they often say “DESTINY”, PAST and DESTINY are very big part of time. Destiny drives us all by its hand ve rise and fall, but only for a moment of time enough to catch our breath again.

Even though life is like this, and time causes us so much pains. Time still heals. The timepiece of life still goes on and on , changes may occur , but the destined always stays the same and always happen for we can never dictate destiny and change the destined. As time pushes forward, we take new challenges and create new opportunities. And as life goes on, we are forced to move past our episodes of dis appointment, sorrow or despair, more than anything else, time heals not only broken bones, but broken hearts as well.

To go on with our life wisely is enough to correct the past, and improve the future. We all know that we can't turn back time, for time never comes back. So like the time, life also must go on both of them must dance the same beat. Together they must open the same doors, conquer the same challenges and records every memory whether its good or bad. And still life goes on and on forever.

Although it hurts to live the past and reflect all the memories and face life with a corrupted soul. To go on will be the best solution.

What does the stars and sky tell me about life?

The stars and the sky, one of the most beautiful creatures found on earth. Gives beauty to the night sky, and gives color to the world and shows the people that the world is still beautiful even with environmental problem and the undying abuse of the people. Looking at the stars ease out the pain we feel. It gives us different expectations and what lays a head for us. Nowadays there are so many ways for people to enjoy the beauty of the stars and the sky. One of these is STAR GAZING.

Different schools organize clubs that includes stargazing. In the University of the Philippines High School Department we have the STAR GAZERS SOCIETY. Among all the clubs here in UP that I joined I find the Star Gazers the best among the rest. Even when I'm still young I really had the passion for astronomy and dreamt of watching Jupiter. So in order to fulfill this passion I joined the Star Gazers Society.

Among all our overnights we often see the stars in the sky. Have you ever thought of what does the star and the sky tells you about life? I'm going to tell you what it is about the stars that tell me about life. The sky, it’s endless and extends to infinity. The sky tells me that as long as we exist we make endless dreams and go on after endless challenges and obstacles. It tells me about different experiences and endless experiences about to come our way. And if there are challenges and obstacles there is also HOPE. HOPE, that is what the stars tell me about life. That in every challenge and obstacles there is HOPE. Just like in every storm a star appears. This tells us that even though we dream endlessly there would be a possibility for these dreams to come true. That even though we let go of opportunities, or we close a door still there will be an open window. That in every death there will be a new beginning. That even though some friends may fail there will still be one standing still. We all know that these are all a part of life. All the opportunities and challenges. It's just like when there isn't any sky only stars life wouldn't be colorful. But we all must remember that there would still be hope and a new beginning. Just like having the sky without stars, there won't be light, and in every storm there won’t be beautiful without all these.

Life that doesn't bear the light of the stars is like a flower that withering. It's like a sea that's drying up and like a weak bone without any muscle to support it's movement. So life without the stars and the sky is empty…

LOVE AFFAIR AT MV DOLOUS AND BOOKS

In your school life, it is not imposicble for you to experience outdoor activities. Oppurtunity knocks only once. An oppurtunity once knocked on the doors of UP. This is to visit the 12 years old floating bookstore ship MV DOLOUS. DOLOUS is filled with affordable books. In this ship could love possibly develop?

The day before the visit at MV DOLOUS was a day of excitement. Everyonne was excited and especially those who are book lovers. But for me its just like ordinary day and wasn't a busy day. It seems like nothing is going to happened. Its just like ordinary days. During the day of visit, it was then that I felt a little bit of excitement.. I was assigned at the second jeepney for I-Bartlett. With my buddy Bia, and my other classmates we are watched by Sir Elmer. GOIng there was fun. The jeepney we were riding was filled with laughter and happy faces.

When we reached the port everyone hurriedly went down the jeepney and rushed to the lines were everyone are lined up to enter the ship.The crew flashed us their happy faces. Some of our classmates are busy buying bo0oks while some got bored and went outy of the ship. One of those bored students is me and my buddy. So we went out the bookstore and bought ice cream. It was only then that we discovered that once you come out of the ship you cannot come in again. Later on more and more UPIANS are stocked outside the book store. So we decided to have some chit chats, I looked down the port and I saw a crew with curly hair and since his hair looks like those of the comic guy Pedro Penduko, I called him Peter Pan.So I started shouting there.

Few minutes later a teacher told us to line up again because we will enter the ship again.Upon reaching outside another batch of visitors came thjey are from another school. So we climbed the stairs but reached another part of the ship and there I met Felipe.A cute guy from Germany.

By the end of the day I reached school contented with because of PETER PAN AND FELIPE...

On Being taught by a co- student.

Once every school year, University of the Philippines High school department has an activity in which students became the school faculty and other positions offered by the school. The activity is called "KNOW YOUR SCHOOL DAY" Before This activity student will be busy signing their application forms for certain positions. For those whom are chosen they will be teaching their co students. And for those who were not, like me, we will stay as students. I will share to you my experiences during the " Know your school day" and being taught by a co-student.

As students all of us have our own responsibilities at school. In everyday we met our classmates. But if one day when you reached school your classmates are already the one teaching you. You will see yourself being taught by a co- student. How would you feel?

Having to experience " Know Your School Day" or as so called KYSD is really nice. Especially when most of the student teachers are your close friends. It feels good because some of them shoms favoritism. I like it in my part because we're friends. But when real teachers do that, of course it's really unfair. The rest of my xperience during the KYSD was nice, but experiences in which I am taught by those students whom I don't like is really bad and especially to this girl classmate of mine, who discussed the lesson of a certain subject improperly and her voice was really annoying. I don't know why but I get irritated listening to her discuss the lesson. I feel bored and sleepy whenever she discusses. I'm not publishing HER name here to avoid her from being offended.and I still do respect her personality.Among all the student teachers I find her the worst.

The experience was really nice because compared to the real teachers, the student teachers know more about what the students wanted the class to be. We all know that some teachers are boring respectively. But student teachers are more jamming and humorous. The student teacher gives moe life to the class and gives different tack ticks to keep the students awake. After every class you'll surely ask for more...

LOOSING THE BELIEF THAT GOD EXISTS...

One sad morning, I found myself doing house chores lifelessly. It seems that I'm bringing the world along with my shoulder. Everything seems to fall out of plan. My heart became empty. I felt so tired of my situation. it seems that hope is nowhere to be found. I felt deceived. Later on rain began to pour. I remembered all the sad memories and the tears that fell from my eyes. I sat by my window and stared at the dark sky. I reflected through the past and found myself loosing the belief that GOD still exists. Within my 13 years of living in his own made planet. Many problems came my way, and I know that many more would come my way.

During the early years of my life. I saw the world to be happy. But as years passed, I felt alone. I went on to be a vry bad girl. I dis obeyed my parents and dropped all my subjects at school. I became used to hanging out with my friends. It seems like I don't feel loved. It seems that I'm free, free but in a wrong way. I could no longer hear the whisper of my conscience.

Things began to worsen when mother left. Father became very abusive. The lucky family was becoming unlucky and experiencing the greatest devastation, a catastrophe. During those times my life seemed to be useless. I became very tired of crying and facing all those problems. It seems that I wanted to give up the life that he had given to me. I felt the LORD is not by myside.I felt that he left me alone with my corrupted soul and broken heart in darkness. I imagined my soul burned in the flames of inferno.

When mother came back, I felt a relief. The catastrophe had lessen its distraction. I know that this is only for a few moment. Mother left again. The monster and the catastrophe are destroying my life again. I no longer felt the love of a father. I felt the LORD doesn't exist. I often tell myself; " If you exist show me how it is like to be with you!..." and still there weren't any answers to my cry. The LORD wasn't listening.

From then I became very devastated. I dont want to go to church and I don't want to be my fathers daughter. I'm becoming evil. But I don't know why, but sometimes, I still have the LORD in my heart, I still feel blessed. It seems that HE is building up my devastated world again.That I'm back in HIS arms...

Sometimes I often think that in a way HE is listening to me. Because right now I'm still alive. By loosing the belief that he exists makes me shiver and makes me believe that he still exists more and more...

Taking the road of LIfe...

When the LORD made the earth, he also made life. Life is the very reason why the world was made, and why there are human beings. Life gives us so many experiences. It gives us so many emotions, happy, lonely, depressed and many more.

Life gives us many colors.The light gives us hope, love and aceptance.The dark gives us problems, fears, unbelongingness and decieved...While taking the road of life, we need to chose, will we take the lighted way or the dark way? We all know that we could never take hold of another person's life. We all know that its unusual. They say that when walking the road of life we're alone, but is this really true? We could never say that we are alone because we always find change...

During those times when we take the lighted way. We would never be alone.Because we know that God is watching us and walking the road with us. If we just believe in him we would never feel alone, because he would never leave us. Through this we feel very blessed, happy, and contented.

We all know that when taking roads, we can never evade being lost or taking the wrong path, the DARKNESS. The dark path takes hold of all the bad memories. Bad experiences and we may loose all the belief in GOD. During these times we are walking alone.We know that if we loose our way, we always find our way back. So is this in life. We may sometimes drift to the dark path, but the lord would still guide you on what is good and bad. There is always room for CHANGE. All of us deserves to take the lighted path and the love of the LORD. But if in your heart you could never find LOVE. You would never find change.Through this when we die, even if we are not sure on where we would go, they say fire of inferno waits for us, but if you take the light, the gates of heaven will be open for us.

So when we take the road of life we must make a choice. We must bare in mind that GOD loves us.He is always there to acept us. Do guide our way. To be our savior, to be our best friend to be our adviser and to be our father.

DEATH OF NATURE...

For us, people, we are very lucky to live in the only living planet in the solar system. According to theories, the earth before has the most beautiful creatures. It has green leaves of spring, the sun shines every morning, the moon gives light to the night sky, and the creatures take good care of the earth.

As the people multiply, they are getting more and more abusive. They developed technologies which are good but on the other side has bad effect for the earth's composition and environment. They developed things which is created from trees, which later on leads to cutting them more often without even replacing them. They use dynamites and cyanide in catching fishes which kills not only fishes but destroys the coral reefs.

These are only few of the technologies. They also made up of a thought of improving more and more. Factories produce air with chemicals and throw waste chemical waters to the rivers.

The most popular environmental problem the world is experiencing nowadays is GLOBAL WARMING...GLOBAL WARMING is a process in which by burning too much fossil fuels such as coal, petroleum and oil, causes a hole in the ozone layer. The ozone layer controls the ultra violet rays received from the sun. A hole in the ozone layer later on causes to a crazy weather and a very hot day.

Only a few people care about the effects of global warming.Scientist are now developing ways to lessen up and to block the hole in the ozone layer. Because if this won't be prevented about 10 years from now, the earth would experience a total devastation, a catastrophe. The DEATH of NATURE.

Nowadays we are already experiencing some changes caused by GLOBAL WARMING, the glaciers of the poles are melting, typhoons are getting stronger and the weather is going crazy. When would be the time for us to be concerned about the earth. When will we be making a move in order to prevent the devastation. When we are already risking to many lives? When we won't have anything to eat? Or during the time of the catastrophe.

We are very lucky to reach the 21st century. Do you like the next generation to reach only the 23rd century or the 22nd century? Are you prepared to say goodbye? Are you prepared to give up your dreams? Are you ready to die? Are you ready?

Come on all you people, let's do something, let's help one another. Wake up!...Make a move!...Make a choice, and be concerned. This is not only about you, me, them, but us. Let's help prevent GLOBAL WARMING...

DEATH...

All of us are afraid to die. Although all of us know that nothing lasts forever. But as they say everything has reason, then so as DEATH.

As years pass by questions had lingered on my mind; "what if I die?, What if one of my family members die?" Such questions that makes us cry. But is thinking of DEATH enough to answer the questions and fulfill our innocent minds, or experiencing it will do?Many stories about people rising from grave and those stuff often lingers on someones mind. And questions would be asked. But how would you answer those questions don't know what DEATH really is...

Many people say that we don't take hold of life and what is meant will happened. Even if the destined hurts but only the supreme being knows when will we die. When thinking about your family you would always come to the point wherein DEATH would come to your mind. "what if one of them die? What would you do?". Such questions are often answered by; "of course I would cry!..."But is crying enough , or you would even wish that you are with them to where they are after DEATH. We all know these wishes are forbidden, because as what they say "life must go on", but how could you go on without them.

Because of our problems we sometimes would wish to die. Especially during those times when you feel deceived and alone. During those times that you're tired of crying and living up to everyone's expectations.When father is very strict and mother is very freakyWhen everything just seems to go wrong. When everything seems to fall out of plan. We often think that life isn't really that nice. That people around you are aginst your decisions. Upon thinking about all of these we come up to the point of commiting SUICIDE.We feel that we shouldn't have been born. And wishes to die...But what if your wish comes true? Would you be happy? Will the people you left behind be happy or thinks that you deserve to die? Would you regret with your wish? Or will you be contented in where you are beyond the land of the living?

All of us know that it would be God's will if he takes our lives earlier than we expected or the life of someone we love. Even though it hurts, we must not cry, instead we must thank HIM for giving us teh chance to be with the one you love even for a few days,weeks,month, or years.We all know that living life longer than expected is a very special gift.

So when problems come, we all know that we can't avoid them,instead we must face them, and be thankful that we are still here and with the ones you loved. So from now on we should tell them how we loved them for we would never know if it is our time to go...

NumBnEss oR sTupiDiTY?...

In a world like this we always make choices. We all know that we have to be independent. We have to decide for ourselves. We have to be free. By these decisions we gain experiences.

Just like when falling in love. Some of us especially the first timers, do everything that their lover wants them to do. In relationships nowadays we cannot assure if someone feeling is true. It's either the boy or the girl are faithful and true or both of them are unfaithful and are just playing with the feelings of one another.

When the boy is faithful and true everything her lover wants is granted. Even though he knows that these things could be a start of bigger problems in the family, his circle of friends and other social environment. Even though it seems that he's doing all of these without using his common sense. This also could cause him to lie from his parents, steal other persons belongings, end relationship with friends and family, or even KILL.Even if the wish was only for the lover's contentment. In other words he is being STUPID. These also happens to faithful girls.

STUPIDITY is a common cause of psychological problems among stupid people. This is also like being a FOOL without a cause...All of us know we can't avoid being stupid. But once our lover tells us to do this and that and follow what she says, we look crazy.

To other people when they fall in love and get hurt and it caused them so much pain. Whatever the lover would do just for him to be forgiven we would never mind, and instead think of all the pain it caused us. We would rather think not to love. We no longer feel symphaty for our lover. Or hearts are turning in to stones. We would end up to the decision not to fall in love. This is the most common effect to broken hearted people, they become NUMB.

NUMBNESS is always present in life wherein we either forget someone or treat him as invincible, that he doesn't exist. But sometimes some people always comes back to forgive that someone. Maybe she doesn't want to be numb.

To those who are unfaithful, of course they don't become NUMB nor STUPID. Because they don't mind what they feel. If the girl is unfaithful just let her be unfaithful anyway I am also unfaithful. "who cares"; that's what everyone says.

If only everyone are faithful we won't have to be NUMB and STUPID. We could love that someone till the end we could live our lives to the fullest that is could be. we could go on with our dreams.

These two traits are all a part of the game of love. It's only either we become stupid or numb. You, which way would you go?

buTTerFLy iNsPiRAtIon...

Most people consider butterflies as the most beautiful creatures on earth. For me a single butterfly symbolizes so many things and it shows as an inspiration for going on with life.

A butterfly shows me it's wings of endless dreams and high goals of everyone. It's endless flying shows me HOPE.When a butterfly is still young it shows me a little girl's innocent mind about the world she is living at. The first time it flies shows me about someone who loves for the first time without knowing about all the consequences.

We all know that butterflies never comes close to someone. Or when it touches our skin with it's little feet, we know that deep inside it shivers in fright, and it doesn't last for long. That's why for me it also shows LOVE. A love that won't ever last for long. Love touches our lives slowly but leaves it painfully.Like butterflies we find love anywhere in places that makes us happy. But it's definitely hard to find true love. Once love touches our soft hearts, a great feeling is felt by you and the one you love.We thought that the love we felt would last but for long, but in the end it fades with our emotions.

We all know that we don't need to find love, it just knocks on our doors. So as butterflies if we look for them we would never find a single butterfly, but they just come unexpectedly during times when we are down and friends are nowhere to be found. When we are lonely love comes our way and fulfills the empty spaces. Although sometimes love would be the cause of problems that would lead us to broken hearts. But sometimes It heals the broken heart and softens the stone heart.

Catching butterflies and putting them in cages and keeping them away from their freedom, Is like loving someone you don't own, or keeping the one you love unhappy to be with you even if you know you don't own him anymore.

Only a few people on earth are lucky to find love. A love that would last for long or as what they call as true love . Just like how lucky is someone when a butterfly stays with him or her for a long time.

Like what they say; "If you love someone let him go, And if he comes back he is yours." So it is better to let go of a butterfly and let it be happy with its freedom. Just like the one you love let it go and when it comes back he is forever yours.

Continue to LOVE or try to FORGET...

Sometimes people are afraid to fall in love. Especially if they already experienced loosing the game of love. What if you're stuck in a situation between LOVE and HOPELESSNESS . Will you continue to love or try to forget?

There was a lady whom has a strong band with her cousin. As what teens usually do, her cousin updates her with every single news and cute guys her cousin met. The lady studies in a well known school while her cousin in a night high school. Before her cousin goes to school she would first go to their aunt's house. One day upon reaching their aunt's house her cousin saw a guy whom was the nephew of the aunts husband. Later on they became friends. When she reached home she immediately told the lady about the guy. She said that the guy was cute and all those stuffs. In response the lady told her cousin ; "Let us see if he's really cute or not."

During the next days the lady had already became friends with the guy. One day, the guy asked for her number and she too asked for the guy's number. They had a little chit-chat with the guy and her cousin. Upon reaching home the guy texted her; "gudnyt... : )", and in reply she said texted ; "sweet dreams (",)...". From that day on the lady developed feelings for the guy.

After a year, it seems that the lady is confused if the guy also liked her. It seems that she doesn't know if she would have to choose from letting go of the guy or loving him till the end. Until one day, the guy met her and it seems that they don't know each other. During the night on that day, the guy and her another friend talked and the guy asked her friend where she is, her friend said she's at home. Her friend asked the guy why he and the girl are not talking with each other. The guy said that he was just keeping distance with the girl because he still gains respect from his uncle and the girl was just thirteen and he's twenty four. And besides the lady was still studying.

When the lady heard this from her friend. She felt confused about the feelings of the guy. She started to ask signs if they were really meant for each other. But none of those signs came true. She was already loosing hope. One day when she met the guy it seemed that nothing happened. The guy asked her about what was really happening, she told the guy that you said you are keeping distance from don't you like this that you don't to keep distance because I'm the who's keeping away from you. And he left the guy alone.Bringing all the pain.

Until now eventhough how hard the lady tried to forget the guy but she still can't, If you were on her shoes would you still continue to love or try to forget?

DADDY is my worst enemy!...

A father the one who serves as the family’s defender and the one ho works for their expenses. What the father is getting more and more abusive and loves another woman aide from your mother. Will he be responsible enough?

In my family I have an industrious father and responsible mother. Before I often tell my father that I love him. I used to think that I’m so lucky to be their child and to have a family like what I had before. When I think of broken families I am very confident that our family won’t be broken.

When I was in Grade III, I tried my best to reach the honors list because I loved my family so much and I want them to be very proud of me. I obey the rules they give and I enjoy life with them.

The problem started when one day when I am still in Grade IV. Mother told us something that if you were on my shoes I don’t know how you would feel about it. She told us that she was planning to go abroad in order for us to save money for our future. By my age at that time I do fully understand our family situation. I know that there is growing crisis in the Philippines but there are decreasing employment agencies. My brother that time was still young and cannot fully understand what’s going on with our family. Of course I agreed to mother’s plan and so does father. When mother went to abroad loneliness filled the house.

After few days, things are going just fine, but as days gone by things began to get worst. Father often comes home late and makes so many excuses when we are asking him of where he had gone to last night. He was becoming crazy about his cell phone; he wouldn’t no longer let us touch it. We get punishments if e do so.

During Christmas in 2004, at exact twelve midnight my father received a call. I was curious of who that was because he went out of the house just for the call. Outside I listened to their conversation found out about, the worst thing to happen not just for me but for all those who have their families.

The day after we went to my cousin’s house as the family tradition. My cousin was wondering why I’m shedding my tears, but what could I do I was very speechless and he just let me sleep.

From that day on I hated my father. Even though how hard I try to forget about it I just can’t. I wanted to tell my father how bad he was. I want to shout that I’m so sick of being with him That I don’t want him as my father That I really hate him, that he was the worst father that he was someone that I’m really ashamed of..

Until now I still can’t forget that midnight in December 24, 2004

BeAuTy DoesN'T HaVe iT ALl

I once had a guy neighbor who was also very close to me. We treat each other as brothers and sisters. He once had a crush on one of our neighbors, whom I could say was indeed very beautiful. He had the perfect skin and very cute eyes. She was sagacious and rich. No wonder she was a renowned lady. But behind her beautiful eyes lies a cryptic.

My friend asked my help to become the girl’s friend. So I started to ask my friends about the girl. As I asked more people about her. I get to know her personality deeper and deeper.

I also observed her and started to become friends with her. By the first time we introduced ourselves to each other, my first impressions with her was she was nice. Since I thought that she was you know nice I introduced her to my friend. Of course what more could we expect, my friend was very happy and started to thank me and I’m also happy for him.

As days go by, some gossip reached me about the girl. It tells us that the girl wasn’t really nice and kind; it was just something to hide her true color. So I become. So I become more suspicious. I started to ask some guys who already had a relationship with her.

There was this guy whom was my ex-crush and had the longest relationship with the girl. He told me that like all the other guys he really found the girl very attractive so as usual he courted the girl. When the girl said yes, they started to do things that lover usually do. But later n the girl became more and more secret full. The guy became more suspicious also. One day he saw the girl flirting with one of his friends; of course it made him very angry. And he made a talk with the girl and there he told the girl how he loves her and how a painful it was to see her flirting. But the girl didn’t even mind what the guy was saying and instead decided to break up with the guy. He told me that it as really painful not only because the girl was unfaithful to him but also because he discovered that the girl didn’t also love him.

Upon hearing this, I thought about my friend and how are things going with him and the girl. One day my friend visited me and told me that the girl was already his girlfriend. What could I do? Of course I told him about the things that I had learned from the lady's friends but instead of listening to me he told me that I was just jealous.And since we are not seeing each other anymore.

Until one day, he visited me and told me that he broke up with the girl and told me the same reasons as the other guy had told me. He told me that he should had followed my advice. From that on it served as a reason for him not to judge people by his or her face but her attitude.And that "BEAUTY DOESN'T HAVE IT ALL"